My first semester of Design 2 is finished. I just wish I had learned more. I feel like I am constantly stuck, and too afraid to open a new door. I always revert back to my old ways and never give new things a go. My teacher and classmates encourage me, but I always say no. I feel like I don’t get enough critique time, and that everyone else is better than me. I’m always trying to impress someone. I just wish I could be free. Free to try and please myself. Free to make what I please. Free to acknowledge my potential. Free to be me. Yes, I know I’m rhyming, but please cut me some slack. It’s the only way I know to express myself. The correct words are what I lack. I wish my art had meaning. I wish I had a reason to create. I want better reactions. I don’t care if its love or hate. Right now I feel like I am stuck doing the same old thing. Maybe it’s because I listen to all the negative words and let them make my heart sting. My parents don’t’ believe in my art. They think it is dumb. I’ve learned to let the words pass by, and let myself just feel numb. I do not blame my parents or my friends or anyone. I only blame myself. I feel like art has lost its fun. I’m sick of trying to please you all. My art has gone astray. I guess I just have to keep walking, and see what happens each new day.
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AuthorMy name is Samantha Dykes, but please call me Sammy. Archives
October 2017
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